Not Daniel's Day
by Anteyra
Summary: Daniel is having a bad day at the SGC, and everyone seems to be finding it funny... everyone that is except for Daniel.
1. From bad to worse

In a dark room, hardly anything can be seen Jack entered the room. The room is down in the Cheyenne Mountain Complex

"It was a dark and gloomy room." Jack said in a slightly scary tone of voice

"Shut up Jack!" Tyra said

"But it is!"

"Even though it is dark we don't need you to add a spooky atmosphere to it." Added Sam from somewhere else in the room.

"Why are the lights off?"

"Cause I'm trying to put this light bulb in!" Came the familiar voice from Daniel.

"Well in that case scary and spooky fit right in to this room at the moment." Jack whispered to Tyra who was standing next to him

"Do you need a light?" asked Niya

"That's pointless Niya, cause there's no light."

"Daniel, why do you need us all in here anyway?"

"Just in case something happens to me, in case you hadn't noticed that does happen to me a lot."

"You can say that again." Tyra said quietly, Jack's response was to laugh.

"Who's laughing?"

"No one." Replied Sam

"I heard someone laugh, now I'm not gonna put this light bulb in until I know who it was."

"It wasn't anyone. Now just fix the light and then we can all go." Jack was annoyed about he fact he was in there with nothing to do.

"Argh!" CRASH!

"Daniel? Daniel, what happened." Niya asked, anxious to know if Daniel was injured or not. A torch came on and it shone around the room until it's beam landed on Daniel. He was on the floor with a broken wooden stepladder ontop of him.

"You see that's why I said using a chair would be better than using a wooden stepladder."

"Good thing you had that torch with you, Tyra."

"Why do you always have to be right?"

"How should I know? How come it's always you that gets the injury?"

"It's not always me. You've been killed twice."

"You 6 times." Sam added

"You've had an arrow through your shoulder, been infected with a Goa'uld symbiote, stabbed in the stomach and had blast weapon damage on your leg. I don't think there's anything I've missed off that list. And I haven't had that much done to me."

"At least she hasn't died as many times as you have! You've died 6 times, remember?" Niya helped Daniel up.

"Can you walk?"

"Yeah."

"How can you tell? You haven't even tried!"

"All right, enough all ready! Where's the bulb?"

"Err." Tyra shone the torch around the room again and soon found the bulb, shattered on the floor.

"There." She said pointing to it. She went over and picked up most of the pieces

"Let's go." They all left the room, Daniel hobbling but otherwise he was fine. Jack was not that certain that Daniel was ok.

"You sure you're ok Daniel?"

"Yes Jack I'm fine, no thanks to you."

"It was your own fault. You should've listened to Tyra and used a chair instead of the wooden stepladder. It was bound to break!"

"Enough of the ladder all right? I'm going off to a DIY store to get some paint."

"Why?" The group looked at Daniel waiting for a reply.

"So I can paint my room. General Hammond said I could."

"You're not gonna use a wooden stepladder are you?"

"Of course not. It's broken so I can't! I'll use a metal ladder."

"At least then you'll be able to reach the ceiling, and the tops of the wall." Tyra said smiling.

"So, what colour will you paint it?"

"Wait and See!" And with that Daniel walked off to go up to the surface.

A couple of hours later and Daniel had returned from the store and was walking down a corridor towards his room with two tins of paint. He soon saw Sam and Tyra.

"I see you're back."

"Good observation."

"You got your paint?"

"Yes." He said holding up his two very large tins.

"You're room isn't that big, you won't need two tins of paint."

"Yes I will."

"Why?"

"Two different colours."

"Interesting." Tyra replied not too confident about Daniel's plans.

"You wanna help me?"

"Isn't it a bit dark in your room though, with no light bulb being in there?" Sam pointed out

"No, there should be a light bulb in there now. On my way out I asked the caretaker if he would change it for me and he said he would."

"We have a caretaker?"

"Lieutenant What's'is'name. Davis."

"Oh him. So, he's now our caretaker?" Daniel just nodded in reply to Sam's question. The two women looked at each other.

"So, are you gonna help me or not?"

"All right. Especially after the mess you made of trying to replace the light bulb this morning."

"Enough with what happened this morning!"

"Sorry Daniel." They moved off and made their way to Daniel's office.

Luckily for them Davis had changed the light bulb and taken away the broken ladder and swept up the smaller bits of glass that Tyra couldn't pick up earlier. He had also left a ladder in his room ready for Daniel to do some decorating. Daniel propped the ladder up and tested its sturdiness.

"Be very careful on that ladder Daniel, cause you could easily slip off." Sam said just as Daniel was about to climb up it.

"One more word from you about ladders..."

"Sorry." Sam opened one tin of paint and Daniel opened the other one. The two women looked at each other again at the sight of the two colours. Green and purple.

"Hmm. Green and purple. Nice choice." Tyra said sarcastically.

"At least it's better than grey. You two paint the walls, I'll paint the ceiling."

Daniel took the purple tin and began to climb the ladder. Sam and Tyra took the green paint and began to paint the walls.

A while later and Daniel was still on top of the ladder painting the ceiling purple. The ladder was now right next to the closed door. Sam and Tyra were still painting the walls green.

Suddenly the door opened and Daniel was thrown off the ladder, with the tin of paint following him. Daniel landed on the floor with a THUD and the paint landed with a SQUELCH. The paint tin had landed on Daniel's head. Tyra and Sam looked at Daniel and then at the door where Jack was now standing.

"Daniel? Are you all right?" Daniel took the tin off his head and wiped the paint off his face.

"I don't know." Daniel was now annoyed. Very annoyed.

"Sorry." Jack said.

Daniel looked at Jack and then at Sam and Tyra and he noticed that Tyra was beginning to laugh, but doing her best to keep it back. Sam was just staring at Daniel. Sam looked at Tyra and then Jack, Tyra and Sam all burst out laughing.

"You think that's funny?"

"Yes we do!" All three replied.

"I just came to tell you we've been scheduled for a travel in a couple of hours, so you might want to have a shower before then Daniel." Jack was having so much trouble just to tell him that because the situation was so funny.

"Thanks Jack."

"I guess we'll have to wait until another day to finish off the painting." Tyra's laughs were calming down a bit.

"Yes, cause I need a new tin of purple paint." Tyra moved over to Daniel and helped him up.

"Off you go. You heard Jack!"

"Thanks." Daniel heads for the door and left. Jack looked into the room at Sam and Tyra, smiled and then walked away.

"Poor Daniel. First the light bulb, now this. What's gonna happen next?"

"It has not been his day today!" The two women laughed for a bit longer


	2. What more could possibly go wrong?

SG1 returned from their mission and Daniel decided to go and have a wash, as there was still some purple paint in his hair. After his shower he made his way down to the canteen and got himself a coffee. He sat down at a table and began to drink it. Tyra soon came along. She went and got herself a cup of tea and moved over to Daniel.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Go right ahead." Tyra sat down.

"Still having problems I see."

"What do you mean?"

"You've still got some purple paint in your hair."

"What?" Daniel groaned and banged his head against the table. He sat back up rubbing his forehead.

"Daniel, did that hurt?"

"Yes"

"Well I've got a good idea then."

"What's that?"

"Don't do it again." Tyra smiled but Daniel just looked at her in annoyance.

"This is all Jack's fault." A call over the P.A. system was soon heard.

"Colonel Pearse please come to the control room." It was Hammond's voice.

"I'd better go. I'll see you later."

Tyra got up but as she did she knocked the table, resulting in Daniel's hand being jogged. In the hand that was jogged was Daniel's cup of coffee, well, it used to have coffee in it. The coffee was now all the way down Daniel's shirt. Daniel was now angry. Very angry.

"Oops. Sorry Daniel. I'll see you later." And she quickly ran out.

Daniel got up and the left the canteen and went to his office. He went in and closed the door. Taking his shirt off he moved over to his bag and took out another one and put it on, screwing the other shirt up and throwing it into his bag ready to be washed and cleaned. He then sat down in his chair and just put his head in his arms and fell asleep.

A while later a knocking on the door woke the sleepy archaeologist up. Daniel sat up and adjusted his glasses so they were straight on his face.

"Come in" he said yawning. The door opened and in walked Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"Am I interrupting you?"

"No, no, Come in. what can I do for you?"

"I've decided to go fishing this afternoon. Want to come?"

"No thank you Jack."

"Why not it'll be fun."

"I said no."

"Got anything better to do?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Sleep! And showers to get this damn paint out of my hair."

"Come with me."

"No."

"Yes."

"No.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes.

"No.

"Yes."

"No."

"Look, Jack I said Yes all right! I said I would like to go fishing with you!"

"Ok, get your things together." Jack begins to leave, but as he does his jacket catches the handle of a canopic jar. It falls on the floor with a loud CRASH!

"Jack! What have you done?"

"It's just a jar isn't it?"

"Just a Jar? This is an Egyptian Canopic Jar! It once held the organs of the great Pharaoh, Ankhenaton."

"Ankhe-who?" Daniel looks at Jack in with anger in his eyes. "Did you say organs?"

"Yeah. That one I believe held his smaller intestine. I'm gonna get a new one and guess what I'm gonna fill it with."

"Hmmm. Coffee beans?"

"No. You're brain!" he raised his voice at Jack.

"Charming, Daniel. Really charming." Jack's face is a picture of disgust and he walks away.

A couple of hours later and Daniel is getting ready to leave. The mess on the floor has now been cleared up. Sam soon comes along.

"Hi Daniel. Going somewhere?" Seeing Daniel packing his things together ready to leave.

"Hi Sam. Err. Yeah. Jack and I are going fishing this afternoon."

"Fishing? You are going fishing with Jack?" Sam said putting emphasis on the words 'You' and 'Jack'

"What? I would never have said yes to him though! Oh no…"

"What?" questioned the puzzled Sam.

"Jack and I were having the simple straight forward 'Yes No' argument. Argh! He must've quickly changed to No and me to Yes."

"Ah yes, his wonderful Reverse Psychology. Hardly ever fails."

"Damn it." At that moment Jack enters all ready to leave. "I can't believe that I fell for that!"

"Well you did. Lucky me."

"I'll leave you two to have fun."

"Sam! Get back here!" Daniel yelled after her as she quickly made her escape down the hall.

"You ready?"

"I guess." Replied Daniel, annoyed.

"Let's go then."

The two friends left and made their way up to the car park. Daniel jumped into his car and Jack jumped into his jeep. Daniel drove off first, hoping to get a head start and hoping to get away from Jack, the sly colonel who had forced him into going fishing for the afternoon.

When they were nearing the lake Daniel made a quick turn to the right, but ran straight into a pool of water, which almost instantly cut out his engine and the car would move no further. The car was dead and Daniel couldn't run from Jack and his fishing. Jack had managed to follow Daniel and he jumped out of his jeep to go and help his friend.

"Something wrong Danny boy?"

"No, my car's broken down, and I don't know why."

"Let me have a look at it."

Jack opened the bonnet and looked hard at all the bits and bobs of the engine: the battery, the drive wheel, and everything else.

"Well?" Daniel said after a couple of minutes of silence.

"The spark plug's had it. Must've been going through that pool of water."

"No. But it was working fine a minute ago!"

"Well that's what happened."

Unbeknown to Daniel behind Jack's back in one hand was a piece of wire and a pair of wire cutters. A small piece of wire that is vital to the performance of the spark plug. Jack had lied, he didn't really know what had happened to Daniel's car, but he made the excuse to easily get Daniel to the fishing lake. That could only mean one thing. SABOTAGE! The evil Jack has struck again.

"Why is it today everything is going wrong?"

"What do you mean Daniel?" Pretending to know nothing of Daniel's misfortunes, knowing that it could get Daniel angry if he tried to list everything he knew of.

"Never mind, Jack" replied the grumpy Daniel.

"Come on, jump in my jeep. I'll drive to you to the lake."

"Thanks Jack." Replied Daniel in a sarcastic tone.

He slammed down the bonnet of his car and huffily clambered into Jack's jeep. They drove in silence to the fishing spot. Daniel chose a place to sit and Jack got the fishing gear out of his vehicle.

"I'm so glad you decided to come with me Daniel."

"You tricked me!"

"Yeah, and you fell for it."

"That's the last time I ever trust you Jack."

"You don't meant that do you?"

"Yes." Came the stern reply from Daniel, who was sitting in his chair with his arms crossed.

Jack passed him a fishing rod and placed the bait in between them. Daniel took some of the bait, which he was thankful wasn't maggots, and placed it at the end of the line. He then threw it out into the lake and just sat there. Jack did the same, but at the end of his line was a small little remote control submarine, that really worked underwater.

Secretly Jack operated the sub.

A couple of minutes later and Daniel felt a sharp tug on his line.

"Jack! I think I've got something!"

"All right! Bring it in!"

Daniel was having a lot of trouble staying in his seat so he stood up to get a better grip on the fish.

"It must be a big one!"

"I'm sure it must be!"

Jack then quickly turned the motor on the sub to full power and it went speeding off through the water, pulling Daniel into the lake!

"Argh!" Daniel screamed as he went splashing into the murky water.

Both men let go of their fishing rods and the submarine dragged them both through the water to the other side of the lake. A drenched Daniel stood up and looked at Jack.

"Well that worked." Jack said proudly.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"The lake water has managed to get rid of all that paint in your hair."

"You man you brought me here just to do that?"

"Well, it worked didn't it?"

"So you sabotaged my car so I couldn't get away?"

"Not until after it had broken down."

"Why did you do that?"

"Cause I don't really know anything about cars, so I had to do something to get you here."

"I really don't like you Jack. You know that don't you?"

Daniel climbed out of the lake and onto the dry bank, squelching with each step he made. Once he was on soil he began to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"Home! Away from you and fishing!"

Daniel walked away and was soon out of sight. Jack laughed and then turned to the trees not far behind him. Tyra walked out, holding a video camera.

"You got it?" Jack asked.

"Every minute!" She smiled and held up the camera, and they both laughed.

The next morning Daniel was walking along a corridor at the SGC towards the canteen. Suddenly a SPLASH is heard and loads of laughter. He peered round the door and saw a lot of SG workers sitting watching a TV. He immediately realised what was going on. Someone had managed to record what had happened yesterday on his fishing trip with Jack.

"Who was working with you Jack?" Daniel called over all the laughter.

Everyone turned suddenly to see Daniel standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Tyra and Jack were standing either side of the TV, Tyra holding the remote control.

"Was it you Tyra?"

"It might have been." She replied.

Daniel slowly nodded his head. Then without warning he went for Tyra and Jack, a mad gleam in his eyes. The pair bolted for the door with Daniel hot on their trail, in extreme anger. They managed to make their escape to the corridor and out of sight.

"Get back here you two! I'll rip your heads off!" Everyone laughed uproariously.

Sam was sitting near the door and she had Tyra's camcorder and she was recording Daniel's reaction!


End file.
